For many years I felt like I could never find my place among everyone else. It was like I was there physically, but no one ever noticed that I was really there. Yeah, they may have known my name by default because we went to school together, had a class together, or even lived on the same road, but they never knew ME. I felt like I had to morph every time people came around because I just wasn’t into what they were into, or I wasn’t feeling their vibes.
It wasn’t until I was 25 years old that I received the most important information that would change my life entirely. I met one of my best friends who I call my soul sister, by accident or through the universe I guess. She was everything I wanted to openly be- courageous, sexually confident, authentic in that she understood who she was and didn’t bend for anyone, smart, and a great mother.
One night as we were about to go out for drinks with a group of her friends I said ” What do I do here? I don’t know these people and I know I can get a little weird for others sometimes.” She looked at me with a glare that pierced my soul and said “Who cares what they think! As long as you are being your true authentic self they will either love it, like it or respect the fact that you wont bend to conform.” That was the moment my life started to change for the better.
“As long as you are being your true authentic self they will either love it, like it or respect the fact that you wont bend to conform”
Many times in life we try to conform to the program of others, that’s the first problem in being true to yourself. In order to be yourself you have to do things your way and find your own solutions. I wanted to be a teacher so bad until I was faced with the task of actually being a teacher. I didn’t want to conform to their ways of teaching because I knew that they were telling us to do was not working. I was urged by a mentor of mine to read a book, Marva Collins Way, and that when my second revelation of ‘I have to make my own path’ became apparent. My confidence grew from just one quote out of the book and I have been using it ever since.
“Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.”
― Marva Collins
Here’s my breakdown of the quote and maybe even my crazy plan for success that I take with me everyday. If you trust yourself,then you can think for yourself. If you can think for yourself, then you can act for yourself. If you can act for yourself, then you can speak for yourself. Acting, thinking, trusting and speaking like anyone else would be suicide ultimately killing your authentic spirit and leaving you broken into pieces. I slept with that Marva Collins quote beside my bed for years so that when I woke up every morning and said my prayers that would be the next thing I saw. I’m not telling you to put this quote beside your bed so you see it everyone morning, unless you want to, but I am telling you to take heed in the message it gives-Be your true authentic self, anything else would be the death of you.
Being authentic is only being who you want without reservation. If you like multicolored hair, or video games, maybe even to read all the time instead of going out every weekend, more power to you. I want you to be able to be in any social setting and know that you only attract good vibes when you have them. Being anything besides yourself its giving good vibes because they are so mixed up that they put of confusion. Its just like my friend told me “As long as you are being your true authentic self, they will either love it, like it or respect the fact that you wont bend.”
Take with you today that you wont bend. Spend time with yourself and find out what you like. Read a book, listen to music, go for nature walks, people watch at the mall, or even sit in a room and just pray.
With the easy access to celebrities who have no idea who they are but want to be role models, this can be troubling sometimes but don’t let that discourage you. A role model doesn’t have to be a celebrity, they can be your next door neighbor who continues to exert positive vibes even when the chips are down.
Be blessed and Jah guide.