‘Don’t Touch Anything’: The Unspoken Public Bathroom Rules

No one likes using public restrooms unless necessary. I have held it for up to 6 hours so that I could be some sort of comfortable. Okay so that’s a little boogie of me, but who wants to use a public restroom?

I was quickly indoctrinated with the unspoken ‘DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING’  bathroom rule as a child and I didn’t break the tradition. I can’t help but laugh when they say it back to me loudly as soon as we get into a public bathroom.

If you’ve ever had an public bathroom experience then you totally get the ‘Unspoken Public Bathroom Rules’.

Don’t touch anything!

The ‘Don’t Touch Anything’ rule is one of the most familiar unspoken bathroom rules. Even if your parents never taught you this rule first hand, it’s viewed as common sense. When you enter a public bathroom its like entering a cave with all kinds of undiscovered life forms. You don’t know when the bathroom was cleaned unless you were there (even if it does say a specified time on a sheet of paper hanging on the way) there is no way of really knowing. Because this isn’t your personal bathroom, you don’t get all of the luxuries-get in and get out

Flush the toilet with only the tip of your foot or bottom of your foot

I don’t care if the sink is in the stall and all the other excuses that can be made up, never flush the toilet with your hands, that’s why you have shoes. I can only imagine what the hell is on one of those nasty little handles. I’ve heard people say they don’t mind because they wash their hands immediately afterwards but I can only think that something other thank soap and water will be touched before getting to the sink.

If you can’t hear anything but see or hear a body, then most likely someone is waiting for you to leave so I can do my business. 

Fix yourself and get the hell out of the bathroom. Don’t linger in the mirror or on your phone, get out! No one want to poo in a public bathroom for starters, but they surely cant do it with others in there too. I have my own rules about this but if you have to go, you have to go. I don’t know many people who like to poo at home in front of others so using a public bathroom makes this hard to gauge when you cant control who’s doing the entering and exiting and when. If you’re the one doing the poo don’t forget to courtesy flush DURING the ordeal. I don’t want to walk in on you but in the event that I do at least make it somewhat bearable.

Get off the Phone

No one wants to hear your conversation but I definitely don’t want to hear it while I’m using the bathroom. I don’t fully grasp the concept of talking on the phone in the public bathroom while your in the stall. I can understand if you need to make a quick call so you made it in the bathroom to get a little bit of privacy but carrying on an entire conversation is totally unacceptable.


I really shouldn’t have to say this to any adult but please wash your hands before you leave the bathroom. Kids get excited and skip crucial steps in life but adults know better than to use a public bathroom without at lest attempting to wash your hands. I know sometimes it’s like going into the lost zone. You have barely hot water or soap, with little to no paper products or electronic hand blowers. Don’t just wash your hands, throw away the paper towel and leave- use the paper towel to open the door so you don’t have to think of putting the germs from the door handle back on your newly cleaned hands.

 Public restrooms are clearly not my place of choice to do anything, thus the ‘Don’t touch anything’ rule. Of course no one wants to use stinky, germ infested bathrooms, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and use the bathroom. Next time you’re out and have to go don’t forget some of the unspoken public bathroom rules to help you have, a hopefully more pleasant, public bathroom experience.

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